Personal Blog

Follow me on twitter

July 22, 2011, 10:06:50 AM

I realize I haven't been very active on my lee-soft projects recently either. I have been working with an old friend to develop a new type of project unlike my existing lee-soft projects. On a side note I am now on twitter. You can now follow me here leechantrey. I thought it's about time I conform. Here, I will be twitting micro updates of my projects and answering various questions.

Good morning?

April 27, 2011, 02:11:33 PM

How many of my posts begin with words to the effect of "I realize it's been a long time since I updated my blog", well prepare yourself for the next startling statement. I realize it's been a while since I've updated my blog. I've actually had nothing new to comment on and nothing new to complain about. I see Android is growing ever more popular especially within my social circle.  We all love the underdogs, well I love the underdog which in the phone market was and still is to some extent Android. I'm reminded of the time Arny was dragging himself along the floor at the end of Terminator 2. Who expected the backup power supply? I didn't at the time. Anyway I am in no way implying Google is Arny and Apple is the T1000. Google are in no way struggling!

I checked my inbox today and as usual I receive bug reports, job ads and the occasional reminder from services I've signed like the generic computer generated junk from Amazon, "Hey Lee we think you might be interested in this video game because 2 years ago you bought an Xbox game from us."  but  I did read a very special e-mail.  In the 5 or 6 maybe 7 years I've been writing freeware software, I've never received an e-mail quite like this one before. Usually in a bug report, you get the generic tagged on line like "and oh thanks for the great software", which is what I would do if I was writing a bug report to a small company or hobbyist programmer. Someone actually went out of their way to write a thank you e-mail without any other intent in the message. I had to read it 4 or 5 times to be sure there was no other meaning or intent in the e-mail. I couldn't believe it. Fan mail?

I am not in any way implying that I expect to receive more of the same kind of e-mails, I don't write thank you letters to all the people out there who have written some software I admire and find use for.  So I hardly expect anyone else to do so either. I love ImgBurn and 7Zip personally, both are free and are in some respects better than their commercial counterparts. I don't have any plan on writing a personal thank you message to them anytime soon though.

I felt the need to print the e-mail out and show people it, "look.. not everyone sucks, maybe there's hope for humanity".  In British culture it's unusual to say "Good morning" to a stranger you don't know, have you seen the look on people's faces when you do? the shock is almost hilarious. I will be honest, I'm shocked too when I get a "Good morning" from someone I don't know, for a moment I have to search my memory and ask myself did I know that person? They seemed to know me, they said good morning? So a few days ago I decided for a laugh - every stranger I am in proximity to, I will greet. I wish I took a camera with me, one guy nearly fell over with the sudden shock of a swift and quick "Good morning" as I passed him.  He quickly stutterd out a "yes yes, good morning", but it was forced.  At this point, he realized that not saying Good Morning back would just be plain rude so he had to reply with his expected good morning.

The consequences of my experiment was interesting and unexpected too, now when these people see me they say "Ah, good morning". The positive energy spreads like an infection or disease. Each time they do, I am reminded of that day I went out of my way to say good morning to them. Aside from the humour in it, It actually made me feel a little more positive and restored my faith partially in humanity. Go crazy, be wild! Say "Good morning!" to someone you don't know - I won't be held responsible for the consequent reactions of the people you talk to however.

A seed to the flower of chaos, Living in society

January 12, 2011, 04:41:12 AM

A seed to the flower of chaos, living in society

There comes a point I think in some people's live's when they realize that the physical things they desire be it money, lust (passion), anger, fame, greed or power only give short term satisfaction. For some, they need to have those things before they realize it, and then sometimes they want more of the same things. The same could be said of a drug addict or a 'vampire', mankind the vampires of the earth. The drug eventually runs out and the addict seeks more. Some become trapped within their circle of desires and can't see beyond it.  Some people create a safety net from their religion, that helps them to identify these urges and feelings as sins.

I recently watched a movie called "Paranormal Activity". A clever movie, it makes your imagination become your own worst enemy. There's no physical monster, and very little gore. You could say a horror movie which had no horror except for the horror you create by yourself by the events that happen.

If someone was to act a certain way, beyond the wave length of how they usually act around the people within their comfort zone they would be described as being "out of character". Another box society has imposed on the poor victim. That persona they act out may relieve that person and help them to eventually find a balanced persona they feel more comfortable being in, unfortunately  their 'friends' have told them "that's not you, you should be yourself" So that poor victim is now trapped again, trapped into being the persona they think is themselves which is governed by how their friends perceive said persona. The endless circles of expectations where society's insanity lives just around the corner.

If I walked into a place, complimented someone of the opposite sex on their beauty, society would have a predefined box for me. The "He's not shy" box, a box which could have a different label but carries the same contents, and then every sane person (sane by society's expectations of the word) unconsciously will associate a type to me. The wannabe enlightened say that they don't, but undoubtedly they do. Such is the way human beings naturally try to associate everything with something else, so they can fear the unknown a little less. The fascination of the unknown.

Though I am not religious at all by my understanding of society's understanding of it, so this next paragraph will probably upset some, I love reading the bible, the characters have so much depth and integrity. What interests me more are the parts of the bible that got removed though. The poor lost chapters they were torn out, how society changes it's bible to adapt to its own ideas. I am not saying there isn't any "god" though in the literal sense of the word. I am open to the possibility of entities beyond my understanding.

When I talk to people, sometimes I ask them questions I already know the answers to because I want to hear their interpretation of the same subject. Their tone of voice more so than the content of their voice. As I know they would tell it differently If they knew that I knew. Some people know that I do that though, so their reply is already tainted. The raw interpretation is eventually perverted. I also make statements the same way I ask such questions.

If I said this "I am also a victim, but I enjoy being one. I enjoy being part of the circles of hell that are on earth, created by today's society." Though you could translate that to simply mean "I 'live' in society", and then anyone who 'lives' in society would say the same otherwise they wouldn't be "living". So which box are you, which box have you put my article in?

Read the article again, see if you can extract another interpretation from the previous one? Don't worry if you couldn't though, I didn't write the article for any particular reason that I am aware of. It's difficult to rationalize isn't it?


To like or to dislike?

October 26, 2010, 03:49:21 AM

When I was a teenager, my idol was my friend's elder brother. I would watch over his shoulder and ask questions that I thought were intelligent questions in order to gain his respect. I tried to be more like him by mimicking his interests and hobbies and reassessing my own interests against his. I am forced to wonder if today my interests are really my own or just 'borrowed' interests from my friends or even from my idol when i was younger. Are the type of games I say that I like, really my taste in games? or just an extension of the games other people I respect like. “The greatest form of admiration is imitation” (I don't remember where i heard that by it's not my quote).

When I was even younger than that, my step father bought me an Amstrad cassette based computer. Naturally I became interested in it because it was there in-front of me, what fascinated me the most was how the data was stored in an audio format (Or rather how games could be stored on an audio storage medium). This is obviously a nature vs nurture situation, So I again wonder if instead of a computer what if it was football placed in front of me (Soccer ball for my American readers) Perhaps, the result of that is that i eventually became a computer programmer. If that's true, wouldn't that mean basically we potentially like the 'first type' of everything that we are exposed to? Once it's gone (What ever it might be) will we miss it? 

These type of questions I ask myself bother me, mostly because I know it shouldn't bother me and ultimately shouldn't matter. It makes me wonder who am i really, if not just a random extension of that, that already existed and now exists around me. A continuation of that, that was already exposed to me. Some people of course believe in fate and i respect that - this purpose of this article isn't to insult or attempt to redefine your beliefs.

I got a lot of e-mail asking me which programming language do I think is the best? Which compiler do you think is the best? What subjects did you study at college? I would say nothing is universally 'the best' unless its the only one of its type. Programming languages are tools which help you to achieve solutions, some of them are better suited for some problems and so on. Just like any spoken language - French is probably more suitable in France than English is it not? English isn't universally “the best” though. It's like I use Google Chrome, as it's more suitable for me because it's fast, though Google Chrome is known to be unstable sometimes therefore it maybe unsuitable for people who's job depends on the stability of their browser.

I used to have this prejudice against shooters. I used to say “nah, i don't like shooters” but I forgot why I didn't even like them in the first place. Then I remembered, it was because i used to suck at them. It took a while but I've managed to let go of that hate. Then i started to question why i play games i consider good in the first place, Because I don't “enjoy” them as such. The game play in J-RPG's at first I thought was boring, the whole turn based combat. That's boring isn't it? Though as I became more attached to the characters, I realized I began to want to play the game to know what happens to the characters. The battles annoy me, and still do to this day - Especially if one of those characters should die during battle which would seem to remind me of the feelings for those characters. That feeling of annoyance to me is part of the over all experience and immersion. I am sure that my character didn't want to battle either.

Do you even know why you do the things you do, have you alluded yourself into thinking you 'enjoy' those things? Perhaps you don't enjoy the things you do, but do you need to enjoy them to do them? What does the word enjoy even mean to you?

If like can be defined as simply an extension to the stuff you happened to have been exposed at first by chance in the past, then the next time you think you dislike a certain genre of gaming or even music or anything. Ask yourself why you dislike it, what don't you 'like' about it - do you know the entire genre? Why the unjustified hate for a genre? Have you even classified the genre correctly? Why does it need a classification at all? Why can't you like both genres? What if classifications didn't exist?

Or maybe I am just crazy.. And I've just wasted 5 minutes of your life which you can't have back. Whether I am crazy or not, would you still read my articles? You read this one didn't you? Perhaps you read it for that very reason.